Midnight

Just my melancholic, cheesey, and mostly wacky thoughts. More importantly, what my set of witty, overly opinionated friends think about them.

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complex, intelligent, observant

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adaptable, clever, giving, idealistic, independent, knowledgeable, logical, mature, self-assertive, sentimental

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friendly, reflective

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(known to nobody)

able, accepting, bold, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, confident, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, happy, helpful, ingenious, introverted, kind, loving, modest, nervous, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-conscious, sensible, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty

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My Online Journal

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

That Empty Chair

It is my mother's birthday today, and I know that I have not yet gotten over her passing. The first year is always the hardest, I realize. Celebrating every special occasion would always be the first time without her. Right now, at 2am, dealing with such profound sense of sadness is just inevitable.

Last year, I remember, I did not even have the chance to greet her. Who knew that it would be my last chance to do so...

We fought a lot, especially after my Dad died. But I always knew that I could count on her. I always knew that I could count on her prayers...

We were not the best of friends, my Dad was my bestfriend. But she treated me as an equal. She was my ally through and through. Now I don't have them both...

It just breaks my heart that no matter how much I call on them... Even in the dark of night... Even when I'm miles away... There's no chance that they would answer that call...

I look out and there I see
Two shadows moving away from me
A tears drops as I see them fade
Once part of me, now separate...

Happy Birthday Ma...

posted by JA | 11:41 AM

1 Comments:

Blogger Lily Grace said...

Yet another entry that made me cry...seriously, this entry made me cry. I hope you don't mind to say this kuya, but I was there also during the last days of your mom and as a friend of your brother, I also care and ready to help just to extend her life. I was with you...

I learned something from what you and Aki have been through. Aki made me realize something. I used to fight with my parents especially with my papa, and I hate my papa. I feel that I was a black sheep (which turned out it wasn't me ). Aki told me not to plant hatred to my parents because when the time comes that I need comfort and help, it's only my family (my parents especially) who will give me those.

We cannot turn back the time. We wish to have a time turner or just to have a "undo" button to make our past right. Life could be such a burden, but as a song said "Life goes on"... kaya mo yan kuya. Time will heal the wound... all you need is time.

9:09 PM  

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